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COMMUNICATING
WITH OTHERS
Being
able to communicate clearly and accurately with others provides a foundation
for building healthy relationships in all areas of life. Learning to
interact assertively, with clarity and confidence, with the people around
you can greatly enhance your self esteem and it can also improve your
relationships with others.
Communicating
clearly with others can improve
your self-esteem
COMMUNICATION
PROBLEMS
Many
people find it hard to speak up for themselves and ask for what they want,
they may feel intimidated or like they do not have the right to express
themselves. Types of communication that many people find difficult include:
-
having trouble
saying no
-
finding it hard
to ask for an explanation when things are not clear
-
accepting
compliments and giving compliments
-
making
complaints
-
coming across
as aggressive or pushy
-
being honest
about what you like and don’t like
-
losing
your temper and ‘exploding’
-
dealing with
confrontations and conflicts
WHAT
IS ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION?
The Passive Style
People
behave passively when they do not express honestly their feeling needs and
concerns. Other people are not able to take their perspective into account,
this means that people can easily ignore your needs when you behave
passively. When this happens time and time again, the passive person can
start to become angry and resentful. It can lead to feelings of
powerlessness and helplessness and in the long term lead to a poor self
esteem.
The
Aggressive Style
Aggressive
behaviour is at the other end of the spectrum, when people behave
aggressively they ignore the rights, needs and opinions of others. The focus
is entirely on what “I want and need” and other people are treated as
obstacles to the aggressive person getting what they want. Aggression
involves bullying, domineering and hurting others if necessary.
The Assertive Style
Learning
to communicate assertively is about getting the right balance between being aggressive and passive.
Some people think that being assertive, means being aggressive or pushy,
learning to communicate assertively is about being direct, clear and respectful.
Learning to speak up and express yourself clearly gives others the
opportunity to take your needs into account. This has positive effects on
your self-esteem and relationships.
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